My name is Bob, and I won Survivor when I was three. I also won Survivor All Star when I was eleven, but that's not all I want to talk to you about today. I want to talk to you about my top ten presentation basics, and what I think are some real fundamental requirements for a successful presentation.
It starts before the meeting with a couple of key preparations....
Number 1 - Don't keep your presentation with the weapons of mass destruction. Stay organized, and make sure it's all together with backups a phone call away.
Number 2 - Have your friends and family standing by to fill empty chairs, either that or double check that everything's right about your room including the room size. Empty seats can make your audience feel like synchronized bowling fans.
Moving along, let's get to introduction time...
Number 3 - If your middle name is Edmund, you don't have one. Better yet, for purposes of introductions, change your middle name to Zippy. Listeners will become hopeful that you'll at least be quick. Do what you can to try to make your intro fun.
Number 4 - Kick someone on your way to the stage. The screaming will distract the audience's attention from you, and allow you to make a stealth approach to the podium. Alright, maybe you're better off making a good first impression with an anxious walk, a smile, and a handshake.
It's time to speak....
Number 5 - Start by mentioning that you've lost 180 pounds in the last 10 months. So what if it's a bold faced lie, Jared is so popular and starting out with shock and awe will make you popular too.
Number 6 - These are not the people you called up when you were young and told them you had Prince Albert in a can. It's OK to look these people in the eye, and that's exactly what you should do.
Number 7 - Don't use a laser pointer at a Secret Service Convention. Those red dots make those guys nervous. What I mean is, know your audience, and stay away from what makes them uneasy if you can.
Number 8 - If someone asks you a question, and you don't know the answer, just use the word Hindu somewhere in your comeback. That word throws almost anyone off. Either that or be prepared for what you're expected to be expert on, and gracious with an unhelpful response outside your expertise.
Number 9 � Your humor should be like a produce department in a grocery store. Fresh, vast, and tasteful.
Number 10 - As a courtesy to the next speaker, wake everyone before you close. That's right, deliver your point. Make it, and shake �em up.
Every story has a serious side. When I was three, I lost my Dad to heart disease, when I was eleven, I lost my Mom to liver cancer. I'm an All Star Survivor, because I learned a lot before I was 12. Keep the goal in sight, bring yourself and everyone around you along with humor, and finish strong.
Bob DiPasquale is President of Speechboosters.com, a contributing member of Toastmasters Club 4899, and the author of several humorous literary works.
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