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�HOW TO MAKE A STRONG FIRST IMPRESSION:

We have all heard this warning: �You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.�� Also, psychologists, writers, and seminar leaders caution that we only
have from seven to seventeen seconds of interacting with strangers before they form an opinion of us.

With this widely acknowledged pressure to �make our case� instantly, here are my seven
tips for making your first impression strongly positive.�

• The greatest way to make a positive first impression is to demonstrate immediately that the other person--not you--is the center of action and conversation.� Illustrate
  that the spotlight is on you only, and you�ll miss opportunities for friendships, jobs,
  love relationships, networking, and sales.� Show that you are other-centered, and first-time acquaintances will be eager to see you again.

���������� Recently I attended a conference.� At lunch, my wife and I sat with several people
���������� we didn�t know.� While most of our tablemates made good impressions, one
���������� man emerged as the person we�d be sure to avoid all weekend.� He talked about
���������� himself, non-stop.� Only rarely did anyone else get a chance to speak.� Unfortunately,
���������� he probably thought he was captivating us with his life story.

���� ����� I applaud this definition of a bore: �Somebody who talks about himself so much that
���������� you don't get to talk about yourself."

• Closely related:� You�ll make a superb initial impression when you demonstrate good listening skills.� Give positive verbal cues: �Hmmm. . .interesting!�� �Tell me more, please.�� �What did you do next?�� Just as actors benefit from prompts, your conversational partner will welcome your assistance in keeping the exchange going.
  
  Nonverbally, you show you�re a skilled listener by maintaining steady eye contact.� ���� Remember how you respond to the social gadabout who appears to be looking over������ your shoulder for the next person he wants to corner.
  

• Use the name of a new acquaintance frequently.� �Judy, I like that suggestion.�� �Your vacation must have been exciting, Fred.�� You show that you have paid attention from the start, catching the name during the introduction.� Equally as important, you�ll make conversations more personal by including the listener�s name several times.
  

• Be careful with humor.� Although a quip or two might serve as an icebreaker, stay away from sarcastic remarks that could backfire.� Because you don�t know a stranger�s sensitivities, prolonged joking might establish barriers you can�t overcome, either now or later.
  

• Follow Dr. Wayne Dyer�s advice, offered in his wonderful book �Real Magic,� by �giving up the need to be right.�� Confrontations with somebody you�ve just met will destroy rapport before you even start building it.� Wait until you have established credibility before you challenge another�s statements.
  

• Appearance counts.� Several years ago, a professional colleague offered to meet me for lunch.� I decided against wearing a suit, opting for a sport coat and tie.� When he showed up in shorts and sandals, the message he conveyed was: �Bill, meeting you is a rather ordinary experience, and doesn�t call for me to present a business-like appearance.�� Not surprisingly, that was the last time I met with him.

���� ���� True, standards for appropriate attire have changed drastically.� Maybe the best advice
���������� I can share came from a participant in a seminar I conducted.� She said, �I don�t�
��������� dress for the job I have now, I dress for the job I want to have.�

• As a communication specialist, I have to point out that an individual�s speaking style impacts the first impression, maybe more than we wish.� Listeners judge our intelligence, our cultural level, our education, even our leadership ability by the words we select--and by how we say them.�

  
  
  Think of Professor Henry Higgins of "My Fair Lady," who changed a "guttersnipe" into a lady by teaching her to speak skillfully.� While none of us occupies the lowly level of Eliza Doolittle, we can keep her example in mind.� Rather than mumble, speak so you're easily heard.� Enunciate clearly.� Alter your pitch, to avoid the dullness of a monotone.� Display animation in both voice and facial expression.� Gesture naturally, without "canning" your movements.

Keep these seven tips in mind.� They will reduce your fear of business and social encounters with unfamiliar faces.� More positively, you�ll start enjoying poise and success that you thought were beyond your reach.

Bill Lampton, Ph.D., works with organizations that want to experience
CPR�Cooperation. . . Productivity. . .Renewal of Mission!� Find out how Bill's programs on communication can help all aspects of your business - sales, customer service, productivity....the bottom line.
For booking information call� 352-438-0261 or email [email protected] .

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