Instincts to Get Along" Quiz
by Kare Anderson
quiz show's some ways our gut instinctual reactions influence our likes,
actions and even attention span.
of the most familiar advice you've heard about body language, for
based on folklore, not research. Consider, for example,
and "closed" body stances. People
with crossed arms are often not any more
closed to you than people with open
arms are necessarily open to you and
this quick nine-question quiz. Some of the answers (at the bottom) may
surprise you. Here's to
remembering the insights to
enduring relationships you can savor.
Do people get along better when talking to each other if they are facing
or if they are standing side by side?
Who tends to face the person with whom they are speaking (men or women)
tends to stand side by side, facing more or less the same way (women
If you want to increase the chance of knowing if someone is lying to you,
phenomenon to notice about that person's face when he or
is talking to you?
4. If you want to keep someone's
attention, is it better to wear a patterned
or a plain blouse or shirt?
5. What is the most directly
emotional of all the senses, bypassing the
and causing a quicker, more intense reaction in the limbic
system than any other sense?
Are you more likely to get someone to support you or buy something if you
them something up front, unasked, before you
ask for the favor?
Who tends to maintain wider peripheral vision when entering a new place,
Who tends to be more specific in their descriptions, adults or children?
Of the previous eight questions, which is the one people are most likely to
for the answer to first, and if reading the
questions in a group, are most
to comment on first?
People get along better when they "sidle" stand or sit side by side
they "face off", stand or sit facing each other.
2. Men are more likely to sidle than
3. Note the timing and duration of
the first "reactive" expression on
you think that person is not telling you the truth. When lying, most
can put an
innocent expression on their faces, yet few (except
liars) will have the right
timing or duration of that expression.
you ignore the expression itself and, instead, consider whether the timing
duration of the expression seem natural, you'll greatly increase your
of knowing if that person is lying.
Wearing a plain, un-patterned shirt or blouse will increase the chances that
will hear you longer. A patterned top or ornate jewelry or loud
will break up the listener's attention span sooner, and that person is
to go on more "mental vacations"
Smell is the most directly emotional of the senses. The right natural scent
refresh or relax you and others in your home or work site. Vanilla, apple,
chocolate are the scents Americans most like.
Yes, up to 14 times more likely to get their support or a purchase. This
is often called "reciprocity reflex."
Women. That is why storeowners who
serve men will increase their sales if
have prominent, eye-level signage over large displays where men will see
signage soon after entering the store.
Children are more vividly specific, hitting their prime around fourth grade
then beginning to speak in generalities, more like adults. Yet the
proves the general conclusion. Specifics are more memorable and more
Question number 3. It seems that we have an inordinate interest in lying.
"Make More Moments Meaningful and Memorable"
#1: "Move to Motivate"
Motion is emotional. It increases the emotional intensity of whatever is
Further, people remember more the things they dislike or fear that they
in motion, more than things they enjoy. Motion attracts attention
causes people to remember more of what's happening and feel more strongly
about it, for better or for worse.
This is another justification for golf! Think of the golf swing. The more
of motion involved (body moving up/down, left/right,
the more memorable the motion.
the bizarre picture of someone swinging his whole body around,
sweeping down low before you, and then reaching out to shake hands. While
moving in many dimensions will surely make you more memorable, it won't
necessarily make you more credible.
others involved in motions with you that create good will: walking,
sharing a meal, handing or receiving a gift, shaking hands, turning to face
a new scene. You are more likely to literally get "in sync" (vital
become more similar: eye pupil dilation, skin temperature, heartbeat) and to
#2: "Deep Convictions"
The more time, actions, or other effort someone has put into something,
or some course of action, the more deeply that person will believe in
defend it, and work on it further.
If you want more from the other person, wait to ask for it after she has
more time, energy, money, or other resources. The more someone talks
it, repeats and revises
what they have said, writes it down, and
explains it to others, the more deeply they will
believe it. And frequently
they will tell others about it.
#3: "True Timing"
If a person likes the way he acts when he is around you, he sees the
qualities in you that he most admires. The opposite is also true. Two
universal truths: people like people who are like them, and people like
people who like them.
Pick the moments when someone feels most at ease and happy to move the
forward. Don't make suggestions or requests when they are acting
an unbecoming way. Your efforts
will only backfire. Praise the behavior
to flourish. Don't ask for more
from someone until they have invested
time, money, other resources, or emotional
"chits" in the relationship.
Tips for Getting Along Better"
If you embarrass someone you will probably never have their full attention
Even and especially when you have the upper hand, do not make a victim
Offering something free and valued up front, unasked, often instills the
to reciprocate, even beyond the value of the offer.
Problems seldom exist at the level at which they are discussed. Until
get some notion of the underlying conflict, you will not be able to
If you want more from another person, wait to ask for it after they have
money or other resource.
Anderson is a professional speaker and communication expert.
She is also a cross-promotion expert, national columnist, and
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