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"Gut Instincts to Get Along" Quiz

created by Kare Anderson

This quiz show's some ways our gut instinctual reactions influence our likes, dislikes, 
actions and even attention span.

Some of the most familiar advice you've heard about body language, for instance, was 
based on folklore, not research. Consider, for example,  "open" and "closed" body stances.  People with crossed arms are often not any more closed to you than people with open 
arms are necessarily open to you and your ideas. 

Take this quick nine-question quiz. Some of the answers (at the bottom) may surprise you.  Here's to remembering  the insights to cultivate genuine, enduring relationships you can savor.

1. Do people get along better when talking to each other if they are facing each other
or if they are standing side by side?

2. Who tends to face the person with whom they are speaking (men or women) and who
tends to stand side by side, facing more or less the same way (women
or men)?

3. If you want to increase the chance of knowing if someone is lying to you, what is one            helpful phenomenon to notice about that person's face when he or she is talking to you?

  4. If you want to keep someone's attention, is it better to wear a patterned shirt or blouse
or a plain blouse or shirt?

  5. What is the most directly emotional of all the senses, bypassing the thinking facilities
and causing a quicker, more intense reaction in the limbic
(emotions) system than any       other sense?

  6. Are you more likely to get someone to support you or buy something if you give them      something up front, unasked, before you ask for the favor?

  7. Who tends to maintain wider peripheral vision when entering a new place, men or

8. Who tends to be more specific in their descriptions, adults or children?

9. Of the previous eight questions, which is the one people are most likely to ask for the      answer to first, and if reading the questions in a group, are most likely to comment on first?


1. People get along better when they "sidle"  stand or sit side by side  rather than when
they "face off", stand or sit facing each other.

  2. Men are more likely to sidle than women.

  3. Note the timing and duration of the first "reactive" expression on someone's face when
you think that person is not telling you the truth. When lying, most
people can put an
innocent expression on their faces, yet few (except
pathological liars) will have the right
timing or duration of that expression.
If you ignore the expression itself and, instead, consider whether the timing and duration of the expression seem natural, you'll greatly increase your chances of knowing if that person is lying.

4. Wearing a plain, un-patterned shirt or blouse will increase the chances that the listener
will hear you longer. A patterned top or ornate jewelry or loud
tie will break up the listener's attention span sooner, and that person is more likely to go on more "mental vacations"

5. Smell is the most directly emotional of the senses. The right natural scent can refresh or relax you and others in your home or work site. Vanilla, apple, and chocolate are the scents Americans most like.

6. Yes, up to 14 times more likely to get their support or a purchase. This gut instinct is often called "reciprocity reflex."

7. Women. That is why storeowners who serve men will increase their sales if they have prominent, eye-level signage over large displays where men will see the signage soon after entering the store.

8. Children are more vividly specific, hitting their prime around fourth grade and then beginning to speak in generalities, more like adults. Yet the specific detail proves the general conclusion. Specifics are more memorable and more credible.

9. Question number 3. It seems that we have an inordinate interest in lying.

Tip:  "Make More Moments Meaningful and Memorable"


Finding #1: "Move to Motivate"
Motion is emotional. It increases the emotional intensity of whatever is
happening. Further, people remember more the things they dislike or fear that they experience in  motion, more than things they enjoy. Motion attracts attention and causes people to remember more of what's happening and feel more strongly about it, for better or for worse.

This is another justification for golf! Think of the golf swing. The more
dimensions of motion involved (body moving up/down, left/right, backward/forward), the more memorable the motion. Imagine the bizarre picture of someone swinging his whole body around, sweeping down low before you, and then reaching out to shake hands. While moving in many dimensions will surely make you more memorable, it won't necessarily make you more credible.

Get others involved in motions with you that create good will: walking, sharing a meal, handing or receiving a gift, shaking hands, turning to face a new scene. You are more likely to literally get "in sync" (vital signs become more similar: eye pupil dilation, skin temperature, heartbeat) and to then get along.


Finding #2: "Deep Convictions"
The more time, actions, or other effort someone has put into something,
someone, or some course of action, the more deeply that person will believe in it, defend it, and work on it further.

If you want more from the other person, wait to ask for it after she has
invested more time, energy, money, or other resources. The more someone talks about it, repeats and revises
what they have said, writes it down, and explains it to others, the more deeply they will
believe it. And frequently they will tell others about it.


Finding #3: "True Timing"
If a person likes the way he acts when he is around you, he sees the qualities in you that he most admires. The opposite is also true. Two universal truths: people like people who are like them, and people like people who like them.

Pick the moments when someone feels most at ease and happy to move the
relationship forward. Don't make suggestions or requests when they are acting in an unbecoming way.  Your efforts will only backfire. Praise the behavior you want to flourish. Don't ask for more
from someone until they have invested
more time, money, other resources, or emotional
"chits" in the relationship.

"Five Tips for Getting Along Better"

1. If you embarrass someone you will probably never have their full attention again.

2. Even and especially when you have the upper hand, do not make a victim of the underdog.

3. Offering something free and valued up front, unasked, often instills the desire to reciprocate, even beyond the value of the offer.

4. Problems seldom exist at the level at which they are discussed. Until you get some notion of the underlying conflict, you will not be able to find a solution.

5. If you want more from another person, wait to ask for it after they have invested time,
money or other resource.

Kare Anderson is a professional speaker and communication expert.  She is also a cross-promotion expert, national columnist, and Emmy-winner. www.sayitbetter.com                                                   ExpertMagazine.com 2001

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